“I think she is growing up, and so begins to dream dreams, and have hopes and fears and fidgets, without knowing why or being able to explain them.” ― Little Women

a few of my favorite quotes

"Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one’s life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one’s side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages betrayed the rhythm and the music; perhaps . . . perhaps . . . love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath."
— L.M Montgomery

" I want to marry a man prepared to swim against the tide"
- Elizabeth Elliot

"Hands are the thermometer of the heart.
And a heart that burns for it’s First Love — it flows like mercury to the hands that then reach out to warm a numbed world." Ann Voskamp

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
- Dr. Seuss

"I believe the nicest and sweetest days are not those on which anything very splendid or wonderful or exciting happens, but just those that bring simple little pleasures, following one another softly, like pearls slipping off a strings. –l.M Montgomery

"The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian does make me a different kind of woman.- Elizabeth Elliot

"Maturity starts with the willingness to give oneself." –Elizabeth Elliot

I acknowledge that He is control of everything in my life, and that He will work it all for my good and His glory. Therefore, I walk through the week trusting Him and obeying Him and rejoicing in Him, letting my mind dwell on things above.
This is walking by faith. This is the Christian life. Each week we get to begin again, laying a new foundation of worship. This is the day that the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it! ~ Nancy Wilson

"So many people are shut tight inside themselves like boxes, yet they would open up, unfolding quite wonderfully...if only you were interested in them."
- Sylvia Plath

"Stay, stay at home, my heart, and rest;

Home-keeping hearts are happiest,
For those that wander they know not where
Are full of trouble and full of care;
To stay at home is best.

Weary and homesick and distressed,
They wander east, they wander west,
And are baffled and beaten and blown about
By the winds of the wilderness of doubt;
To stay at home is best.

Then stay at home, my heart, and rest;
The bird is safest in its nest;
O’er all that flutter their wings and fly
A hawk is hovering in the sky;
To stay at home is best."- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“When we lay the soil of our hard lives open to the rain of grace and let joy penetrate our cracked and dry places, let joy soak into our broken skin and deep crevices, life grows. How can this not be the best thing for the world? For us?” –Ann Voskamp


"Do I like jello?"
"Nice coat. Merry Christmas to you too. You're beautiful. Will you marry me? I love you!" -While You Were Sleeping

"Thank yer, ladies and gentlemen. Thank yer" -You've Got Mail

“You can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right; but spelling isn't everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn't count.” - Winnie the Pooh

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I want to see beauty. In the ugly, in the sink, in the suffering, in the daily, in all the days before I die, the moments before I sleep.” –Ann Voskamp

The simple lack of her is more to me than others’ presence. -Edward Thomas

...for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. Philippians 4:11

"Clogged with wishes. I was wishing that my wishes were what God wished, and that if my wishes were not what God wished, I wished that I could wish that my wishes would go away, but the wishes were still there." -Elizabeth Elliot

There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind. -C.S Lewis

"Quite frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn" -Gone With the Wind

"That's Re-dikorus." -Tigger

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blog title and description taken from my favorite artists- The Weepies - and their song Same Changes.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

a letter


i first saw this a few days into to National Health Blog Post Month and thought it would be a fun thing to participate in since it is diabetes awareness month. 


since i am starting late i decided instead of trying to get completely caught up i would start on the prompt from the day i first heard about NGBPM. maybe i can catch up from there..to keep record i am going to date this post as thursday, november 3rd, fyi.




Dear 18 year old me. Write a letter to yourself when you were 18. Be sure to tell yourself what to do more of, what to do less of, and what you have to look forward to in the next few (or several) years.


dear 18 year old me,


let me start off by saying I WISH 30 YEAR OLD ME WOULD WRITE US A LETTER RIGHT ABOUT NOW! now wouldn't that be helpful....!


anyway....


congrats on turning 18! that party will be talked about for years to come! especially the fact that a diabetic had an all-out-hold-nothing-back-eat-till-you-are-sick chocolate party..yep, you (we? i? not sure how this whole time travel things works..) totally rock. 


but i know 18 was the start of the "worrying years". you worried about dad coming home after 2 years of deployment. worried about graduation and life after, worried about what God's plan is for you. worried about work. worried about your friends that seem to be losing their minds. worried about the fact that you really do not want to deal with anything diabetes related. you worried, but you were excited and expectant too. it is a crazy mix of emotions. 


i wish i could tell you the next 5 years get better and that it is all rainbows and happy days.. but darling, it is not. there are mountains to climb, molehills to fret over, battles to fight, fears to face and problems to solve. but, there will be lots of good things too, so don't worry. you will be stretched, pulled, tried, and it is all a beautiful part of God's plan for your (our) life. 


graduation will be fun! don't worry, nothing embarrassing happens when you walk across the stage. enjoy every moment of it! it goes so very fast. hug dad a few more times that day. he is having a hard time thinking that when he left you were a little girl still struggling through math and living for the outdoors and how he missed you growing up, learning to drive, wearing make-up and all that goes with becoming an adult.


after graduation you and your best friend  will pack up way too much in the back of your volvo (you got a station wagon for graduation. pretend to be excited, 'cause em really does try hard to keep it a secret) and head to TN. you will LOVE every second of working at Above Rubies. living with your bff will teach you many things (and yes, she does marry him) and some of the friends you make will last.


while you are there you will get a phone call late one night, it is mom telling you that she is going to have a baby. be careful running up the stairs to tell the girls, otherwise you will twist your ankle. mags will be born a few months after you move back home. and its the best thing in the world. enjoy every second of it. you will pull these memories out for years to come.


i am not going to lie. those few months between moving back home, moving to the new house and mags being born are going to be the hardest ones you face until you are 23. but you survive and you don't get sent to jail for wanting to kill some people. living in the little house with a pregnant mother, a new friend who needs a place to stay, your dad after not for two years, and trying to figure out your life is stressful. trust me, i know! don't worry about your high a1c, stress does that to us..


in fact, don't worry about it for a while. the next few years will be rough in the diabetes area. you will be totally and completely burnt out. some-days you will test maybe 1 or 2 times, forget to bolus and you will tone out anyone who tries to say something. it's ok. really. you don't ever have an a1c higher than 9, even though its bad...its not the end of the world. you may want to consider exercising a little more. i wish i would have now....really though, it is all a learning process and you will be better for it. 


between 18 and 23 a lot happens. life. is. lived! you mess up, you win big, you grow, and you wish you could be 10 again. but kid, you do great! you are the example, you are the leader and so many look up to you because of the fruit they see in your life. really. don't try to understand it, just take it and run with it..and don't forget who is blessing you. 


here are a couple tips i wish i would have known: 



  • between then and now there will be several guys that come along. it gets overwhelming but it's kinda fun too. oh..the proposal? yeah, say no and watch what happens when you get here. its pretty funny. there will be some tears cried...but trust me when i say "don't drag it out". say no and let your no be no. got it? yeah me either...
  • find the DOC sooner! it was a life changing moment when I first read Kim's blog over at http://www.textingmypancreas.com/. one thing will lead to another and soon you will find yourself in FL   @ FFL with 1000s of other type 1 diabetics. it will be amazing. you will meet friends who GET IT and it will make a difference in how you care for yourself. YOU CAN DO IT! 
  • don't hesitate so long about CollegePlus! it is great. every bit of it. 
  • your sister will become your best friend.. she will also put in all of your arm sites when you get a cgm. teach her earlier than you think..
  • make more time to spend in God's word. at some points it will be the only thing that makes sense in your life. 
  • it is hard growing up and still living in your parents house. but it is doable and it is worth it. keep at it. keep smoothing things over. your people skills will be put to good use. 
  • last but not least: stop being afraid. just stop it. do the things you want, say what needs said, have that adventure. just do it. 
so, there you have it. there are many many thoughts, events, plans, people and things i left out. those you will have to find out about on your own. 

keep your chin and remember, You Can Do It. 
Me







This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J

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